Hard days

I think many of you all know by now that we lost our very precious Mazie yesterday.  It was one of the hardest days of my life.  As you know she had two cancerous tumors removed in April.  They got clean margins, but by very little for the one on her leg bc there is just not much extra skin/tissue to take.  And unfortunately that was the more aggressive tumor.  They also did chest x-rays before that surgery to make sure it had not gone to her lungs yet (bc that cancer likes too), and they were clear.  So while still worried, after her surgery she was considered a "healthy" dog and had orders to constantly check her for new growths, which I did all the time - probably obsessively!  We were told the cancer could be back anytime, but could be years or even not at all.

She recovered great from that surgery and had been her normal self since.  But it all changed Wednesday night.  We got her up to go out before bed and she would not get up.  Once she did, she was very wobbly and then laid right back down - kind of falling.  She was different, and we could tell right away something was very wrong, and it was bad.  She was like that for the rest of the night - labored breathing, not wanting to move, etc...  We ended up carrying her to bed, where we loved on her all night and little to no sleep, as we just knew it was bad.  She was not any better by the morning, so we took her to the vet where they did x-rays and confirmed our biggest fear.  The cancer was back with a vengeance.  Her spleen had ruptured, most likely due to a cancerous tumor, she had blood in her stomach, and she cancerous nodules all over her lungs.  Fortunately, it was all bad enough that we knew instantly what had to be done.  We did not have to question it - although that did not make it any easier.

It still doesn't even feel real yet.  I have been dreading this day for years and have prayed for a long time that when the time came that happen quickly and relatively painlessly.  While she was obviously uncomfortable, I don't think she was in alot of pain and was able to rest relatively comfortably.  And it definitely happened fast. We are actually pretty confident that had we not put her down, she probably would have died pretty quickly on her own.

We loved Mazie so much; she was truly a part of the family, and it is going to take a long long time to get over this.  We were so lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful dog.  I could not have asked for anything better!  

We took these pictures Monday night.  As you can see we tried to get one with Lily, and you can see what happened!